Reflection I

So I'm here. Sitting in the train from Eindhoven to Venlo which will leave in 15 minutes or so. I did what Skavenger often does. Bought myself a pen (again) and a notebook and I'm writing down stuff that comes to mind, just because there is nothing better to do.

I just realized this is the last time I'm going to Venlo while still kinda living in Eindhoven. I will take this train journey probably one more time to hand over the keys to my apartment to the guy renting me the place. I have traveled this Eindhoven - Venlo a lot, close to 75 times I guess since the first time, October 11th of last year.
It's a kind of melancholy moment. I have lived in Eindhoven for exactly 8 years and 2 days now. It has become my home town and the city felt really nice. Last Monday I took the bus from work to the train station for the last time. Kinda felt weird. Seeing all those things I've seen so many times. Next time I'll see them, if ever I'll be just a visitor.

When I visited my parents a few weeks ago it also felt weird. I was there for only a part of the afternoon and the better part of the evening. Normally when I go visit my parents (I used to see them almost every weekend) my mother would pick me up from the train station. It always felt like returning home.
This time however we went by car. Skavenger's dad was nice enough to lend us his car and so we went to my parents on our own, no picking up and not public transportation. We, as said, left a couple of hours later. This time it really felt like visiting instead of coming home.

I am in a strange place right now mentally. Almost everything that I knew that was there for me has changed.

First my parents, they still love me, but their home is no longer a place to come home to. My own place.. it's gone. I was packing up stuff today and the apartment is nearly empty. Tomorrow people will visit my place with a real-estate person, who will do his or her best to rent the place again. I won't be there, so I had to clean up, since the last time I cleaned up was like two months ago. Not a strange thing since the few days I was there during that period I didn't really felt like cleaning. Why clean if you don't live there?

The only thing now that is familiar is Skavenger. I've been a lot at her place lately. I feel we are meant for each other. We've had a few minor disagreements. Nothing serious. They can all be blamed on the situation. I need to find a new job (one other thing that has changed, no longer working for the company I've worked for for 3.5 years). Also the stress from moving. All those things you need to do... And last but not least, we both don't get enough sleep. Partly caused by stress, the other part from the awfully hot weather we've been having the last few weeks. Finally now it is cool. Tomorrow I can sleep in again.

This weekend will be a festival in Venlo which hopefully will distress us a bit. I'll be glad when it's the 17th of august; Lowlands festival. For 72 hours nothing but music. I hope the weather will be better then. It'll be 3 or 4 days of not a lot of sleep and if we get any it'll be in an either too hot, too cold or too wet tent. But it will definitely be relaxing. And you won't believe the feeling from a shower and your own bed on Monday unless you've experienced something similar. Anyway by the 17th we'll have moved me to Venlo and all that is left is a week of vacation and looking for a job.

I've written like 30 minutes and 20 kilometers now. So it's better to stop I think. Hope you like this kind of frame of mind kinda post.

Ow and I love Skavenger